{"id":1856,"date":"2014-05-07T09:00:58","date_gmt":"2014-05-07T08:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.exeter.ac.uk\/stoicismtoday\/?p=1856"},"modified":"2014-05-07T09:00:58","modified_gmt":"2014-05-07T08:00:58","slug":"the-epictetus-club-part-four","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/colabstaging.co.uk\/msbackup\/the-epictetus-club-part-four\/","title":{"rendered":"The Epictetus Club: Part Four"},"content":{"rendered":"

In our final extract from Jeff Traylor’s book, the inmates explore the art of good mental boxing, or how you can make a productive ‘counter-punch’ to negative thoughts….<\/em><\/p>\n

“The prison had been abuzz for days about the escape. Rumors abounded on the grapevine about how Crime Wave had gotten out. One story had him tunneling under the wall, another had him carving a hole through the wall, and another had him climbing over the wall. The most likely method was that he had managed to hide himself in a garbage truck that left the prison earlier that evening, avoiding a search by stashing himself in the garbage bin of the truck. However he did it, the prison would probably be closed by the time the answers would be found. Anyway, it was old news by the time the next Epictetus Club meeting rolled around. Zeno had stayed focused that week and had hung a new frame on the wall that I especially liked:<\/p>\n

Round Four<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Prayer of Epictetus<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Lead me, Zeus and Destiny, whithersoever I am appointed to go. I will follow without wavering; even though I turn coward and shrink, I shall follow all the same.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The meeting came to order promptly at seven, with Zeno welcoming the members and then moving on to the night\u2019s topic. \u201cA half-hearted spirit has no power, according to Epictetus. And power is a very important part of change. We can have good intentions, but without any<\/p>\n

power to carry out our plans we will not succeed. Mike, what is the main way that your stock car might lose serious power?\u201d asked Zeno of one of the men.<\/p>\n

Mike, an experienced stock car driver and mechanic, answered that one of the ways was by having a blown head gasket. \u201cYou can have all the horses in the world under your hood, but if you don\u2019t have the compression, you don\u2019t have the muscle. Some of your power is blowing out through the hole in the gasket instead of being directed toward powering your car toward the finish line.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are some things we do with our thinking that also cause us to lose power, or to lose compression,\u201d said Zeno. \u201cAnd if we do these things, even though we have good motivation and a good target, we still won\u2019t make it to our finish line or to our goal. Tonight we\u2019re going to do a sort of compression check \u2013 to see if we\u2019ve blown a head gasket ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know I\u2019ve blown a gasket or two in my time,\u201d said Leonard. Most of the others agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes it\u2019s obvious when we\u2019ve blown a gasket \u2013 like when we\u2019re enraged and flying off the handle. But there are other times when it is so subtle we might not even realize that it has happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

He then asked the men to think of the reasons they used to justify their crimes as he wrote their answers on the board.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was drunk,\u201d volunteered the first man.
\n\u201cI needed the money.\u201d
\n\u201cI was snitched on.\u201d
\n\u201cMy parole officer was out to get me.\u201d
\n\u201cI didn\u2019t do it,\u201d another man said to the laughter of<\/p>\n

the others.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe guy driving got pulled over and they found the drugs on me. If he hadn\u2019t run that stop sign I wouldn\u2019t be here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy kid needed diapers.\u201d
\n\u201cI didn\u2019t have a job.\u201d
\n\u201cI don\u2019t have a good enough education to get a job,<\/p>\n

so I had to do what I did.\u201d
\n\u201cMy old lady pissed me off.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI grew up in the projects.\u201d
\n\u201cI was high on drugs.\u201d
\n\u201cI didn\u2019t think I\u2019d get caught,\u201d said the last man in<\/p>\n

the circle.
\nZeno then read a passage from the Enchiridion<\/em>:<\/p>\n

\u201cBlaming others is silly. When we suffer setbacks, disturbances or grief, let us never place the blame on others, but on our own attitudes. Small-minded people habitually blame others for their misfortunes. Average people blame themselves. Those who are dedicated to a life of self-mastery understand that the impulse to blame something or someone is foolishness, that there is nothing to be gained in blaming, whether it be others or oneself. Blaming oneself puts you down and is not the same as taking responsibility. Taking responsibility empowers a person, giving them a chance to learn from their mistakes and make changes. One of the signs of the dawning of self- mastery is the gradual elimination of blame.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

Zeno then added, \u201cSimply making excuses is a way to blow a gasket and lose our power to change. We end up feeling helpless, blaming others, and giving our power away to whoever or whatever we are blaming.\u201d He then pointed to the list on the board and asked, \u201cWhat do you notice when you look at this list?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe might think of them as reasons, but they are really a lot of excuses!\u201d said Eddie.<\/p>\n

\u201cEddie\u2019s right \u2013 the list is a load of B.S.,\u201d agreed Leonard.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the best ways to get power back over our own lives, to repair that blown head gasket, is to see our excuses for what they are,\u201d said Zeno. \u201cSimply identifying them is a great step forward. To use our ABC Model of Inner Boxing, these excuses are like the attacking thoughts we are using against ourselves. We can block them by being aware that they are excuses and are robbing us of our own power. Let\u2019s see if we can come up with some counterpunches to each of these thoughts. Let\u2019s do some work on the speed bag \u2013 how fast can you counter your own attacking thought with a productive thought that restores your power? Repeat the attacking thought and then counter it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shakes went first. \u201cAttacking thought: I was drunk; counterpunch: I drank and got myself drunk.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood job,\u201d encouraged Zeno. \u201cNext.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttacking thought: I needed the money; counterpunch: everyone needs money. I could get a job or borrow it or find some other way to get money besides crime.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttacking thought: I was snitched on; counterpunch: if I hadn\u2019t set myself up by doing the crime the snitch wouldn\u2019t have had anything to use on me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou guys are doing great. Next,\u201d said Zeno.<\/p>\n

\u201cAttacking thought: My parole officer was out to get me; counterpunch: what the hell am I doing with a parole officer anyway!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttacking thought: I didn\u2019t do it; counterpunch: okay, I did it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttacking thought: The guy driving got pulled over; counterpunch: if I didn\u2019t have drugs on me, he would have just got a ticket and I wouldn\u2019t have gotten anything. As it is, he lost his car and I went to prison.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttacking thought: my kid needed diapers; counterpunch: there are better ways to get diapers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttacking thought: I didn\u2019t have a job; counterpunch: go look for a job!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttacking thought: I don\u2019t have a good education; counterpunch: go to school and get an education.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttacking thought: my old lady pissed me off; counterpunch: I pissed myself off, and being pissed is no excuse to hit anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttacking thought: I grew up in the projects; counterpunch: so, I grew up in the projects. Not everybody in the projects goes to jail.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttacking thought: I was high on drugs; counterpunch: I got high to get rid of my fear so I could do the crime. The fact is, I was doing crimes before I ever did drugs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is a powerful insight. Nice counterpunch!\u201d Zeno responded. \u201cNext.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAttacking thought: I won\u2019t get caught; counterpunch, I will get caught!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat job, guys,\u201d said Zeno. \u201cHow did that feel?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStrangely enough, it felt better than the excuses I\u2019ve been using. All along I thought that if I admitted the truth I would feel worse, but I actually feel stronger and more hopeful. I can\u2019t change the things I was blaming, but I can change myself. The attacking thought seemed beyond my control, but the counterpunch is something I can do, something that is up to me,\u201d replied Leonard.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I saw those so-called reasons on the board, I was kind of embarrassed because I saw through them right away, so I know that others see through mine too. Just because they don\u2019t call me on it doesn\u2019t mean they don\u2019t see it. And here I thought I was making myself look good!\u201d added another group member.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt actually seems easier to step up to the plate and own up now. I wear myself out trying to keep my stories straight and remembering what I said to who.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI confess that I actually started believing my own stuff after a while, since I said it so often. I must look like a fool to the people I was lying to. No wonder no one believes me even when I tell the truth \u2013 its like the boy who cried wolf so many times no one came to help him when the wolf really showed up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see that I made up my excuse to keep from feeling guilty and ashamed. And when I see my counterpunch, I do feel guilty for what I\u2019ve done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGuilt can be a healthy emotion,\u201d answered Zeno. \u201cIt can motivate us to change and to live a better life. But if we keep trying to avoid it, it can\u2019t do its job. Healthy guilt is guilt that prompts us to make a positive change. After it\u2019s done that and you\u2019ve made the change, let it go and move on with your life. Unhealthy guilt is guilt that we refuse to acknowledge so it is unproductive, or guilt that we hold on to for too long so that it keeps us stuck in the well feeling bad and pitiful. That is self-blame and is different from taking responsibility. One keeps us stuck, the other motivates us to change. Self-blame might look good to others, but it is just another excuse to keep from being responsible.\u201d<\/p>\n

By then the clock showed eight o\u2019clock, so it was time to adjourn. Mike made the final comment: \u201cThanks for the compression check, Zeno – I guess we got our heads screwed on a little tighter tonight!\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

About the book<\/strong>:<\/p>\n

The Epictetus Club: Lessons from the Walls is both an inspiring story and a\u00a0unique thinking skills teaching tool written by Jeff Traylor, a former prison\u00a0counselor and award-winning program developer. Set in the Ohio Penitentiary,\u00a0the book follows a group of inmates who meet weekly to study the teachings of\u00a0the ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus, a former slave and prisoner who used\u00a0adversity to become wiser and more compassionate. The group is led by an\u00a0unforgettable lifer named Zeno, a former professional boxer who points out that\u00a0our greatest opponent is our own thinking. Zeno compares thinking skills to\u00a0boxing skills, and teaches the men the ABC\u2019s of Inner Boxing and the Ten\u00a0Rounds to Self-Mastery. The reader sits in on life-changing group sessions\u00a0where the men discuss finding a sense of purpose, \u201cknocking out\u201d excuses,\u00a0turning adversity to benefit, converting entitlement to gratitude, identifying\u00a0consequences of actions and how others are affected, handling provocation,\u00a0dealing with stress, and many other key life lessons. The Epictetus Club is an\u00a0easily read 155-page paperback book divided into short chapters that\u00a0encourage reading and discussion. Popular in prisons and universities around\u00a0the country, the book is great for self-study or in a discussion group (discussion\u00a0guide available). A 270-page, 16-session cognitive skills course manual called\u00a0The Epictetus Self-Mastery Program<\/em> is also available.<\/p>\n

N.B. If you would like to have a free PDF copy of The Epictetus Club in full, please email the author (epictetusclub @ aol . com – minus the spaces!).\u00a0He will be happy to send you a copy<\/strong>.\u00a0You can also buy a physical copy of the book\u00a0here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

About the Author:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Jeff Traylor has a wealth of corrections experience, ranging from implementing the furlough program at the maximum security Ohio Penitentiary to serving as the cognitive skills instructor at a community based correctional facility. His experience also includes substance abuse counseling and program development, and he has worked in the psychological and social services departments in Ohio prisons. He is the creator of the Shoplifting Diversion Program that earned a national award from the National Council of Community Mental Health Centers and was adopted in more than 30 U.S. cities. He has served on the faculty of the Michigan Judicial Institute and has trained hundreds of professionals ranging from parole officers to social workers. He earned his graduate degree from The Ohio State University and is the author of a series of Ohio travel books called\u00a0Life in the Slow Lane.<\/em>\u00a0See his website\u00a0here<\/a>.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

With thanks to Jeff for allowing excerpts from his work to be published here.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In our final extract from Jeff Traylor’s book, the inmates explore the art of good mental boxing, or how you can make a productive ‘counter-punch’ to negative thoughts…. “The prison had been abuzz for days about the escape. Rumors abounded on the grapevine about how Crime Wave had gotten out. One story had him tunneling … Continue reading “The Epictetus Club: Part Four”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1856","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stoicism-in-prison","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/colabstaging.co.uk\/msbackup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1856","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/colabstaging.co.uk\/msbackup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/colabstaging.co.uk\/msbackup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/colabstaging.co.uk\/msbackup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/colabstaging.co.uk\/msbackup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1856"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/colabstaging.co.uk\/msbackup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1856\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/colabstaging.co.uk\/msbackup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1856"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/colabstaging.co.uk\/msbackup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1856"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/colabstaging.co.uk\/msbackup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1856"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}